The 'path-dependency problem' framing is spot on. Most people optimize at each decision point without realizing they're building toward someone else's defenition of success. Had a similar realisation few years back when I kept taking on more scope becuase it was 'the sensible move' until burnout forced the question: whose ambition was I actually chasing?
Yes! This is a great example of inherited sacrifice - even if you consciously accepted extra work, you didn't necessarily consider to what end. And most of us don't until something bigger changes (like burnout) which forces you to re evaluate. Hope you are ok now!
There's so much freedom that's at reach on the other side, but it comes at the cost of dealing with sooo much fear and insecurity!
Whenever I've been in that situation, thinking about what would happen if I stayed and nothing changed ended up being scarier than the thought of jumping. Thinking about the alternative also gave me the gift of hoping, and it's what helped me get the courage to move. :)
The 'path-dependency problem' framing is spot on. Most people optimize at each decision point without realizing they're building toward someone else's defenition of success. Had a similar realisation few years back when I kept taking on more scope becuase it was 'the sensible move' until burnout forced the question: whose ambition was I actually chasing?
Yes! This is a great example of inherited sacrifice - even if you consciously accepted extra work, you didn't necessarily consider to what end. And most of us don't until something bigger changes (like burnout) which forces you to re evaluate. Hope you are ok now!
Wow, “inherited sacrifice” is such a good term for this. Great read!
Thank you! It's a useful term - because it isn't necessarily what we chose for ourselves consciously.
Well put, Claire!
There's so much freedom that's at reach on the other side, but it comes at the cost of dealing with sooo much fear and insecurity!
Whenever I've been in that situation, thinking about what would happen if I stayed and nothing changed ended up being scarier than the thought of jumping. Thinking about the alternative also gave me the gift of hoping, and it's what helped me get the courage to move. :)
Thank you - and that is great advice. Its good practice to envisage what might happen if nothing happened.
I have to do a lot of things I never chose, although I constantly keep saying I don't want it that way.
There's a couple of things nobody would like to bear.
I was born into a world without learning to feel free...